Suggested wine pairing: sangiovese.
THE MOUNTAIN TIME HURLY BURLY
laughs at those who thought Hamster died in part 42 just because his phone went dead. You didn’t see him die, did you?
But then, you didn’t see him die this time, but he is dead now. That’s canon. He’s late, kaput, cadaverous; the guy ain’t in the union no more.
I’m still behind on getting things formatted and colored, so I can’t guarantee a Tuesday update, but check back tomorrow. Count on a Thursday update regardless.
I guess this is what it looks like when the hamster retreats into his “mind palace” to escape reality.
Seems a bit naïve to assume the LeBron Jameses of this world will just be basketball players for perpetuity, but then who am I to argue with a 400½-inch diskette? That thing must hold at least 18 gigabytes of raw knowledge.
(Um, assuming I got the byte density per square inch right… I’ve gotta say I was really hoping for a more outrageously low or high number, so I would be happy to be corrected by an expert in speculative storage media.)
It’s odd that I’m angriest with the rabbits NOW. Mostly for interrupting that pretty rad dream that is totally in-character for the hammest of hams.
The real Franklin of course invented -vajazzling- as a method of covering up sores on whores.
Xin: It’s at least one option. He’s a smart guy with enough imagination to write several successful underquels, so I’m sure he can create any number of catatonic delusions.
NAR: I’ll take your word for it, but without a disk drive, how is that data gonna get processed? I’d go so far as to say there’s no reason to trust that floppy, but the two LeBron Jameses I’ve heard of are both basketball players. Ultimately, this one’s up in the air…much like a basketball often is.
Cold: Do you think “sores on whores” is what eventually became Meals on Wheels? Or is that a different organization?
And speaking of being angry at rabbits: Why isn’t rabbit a more common cat food ingredient? They’re natural prey for cats (unlike salmon, tuna, lobster, and cow, which are all common options), they breed like crazy, and they’re sophisticated food—no fast food joint serves rabbit.
Naw I think the first door to door prostitution service was called “Not Not Tonight, Honey.”
I’ve been sayin for ages, you’d think they’d use cats’ actual prey as cat food. Something about processing them I guess is just not desirable. Whereas if it’s an animal we’re eating already, there are automatically scraps to use up.
I have also asked myself why there’s no pork-based dog or cat food, but I think I may have just answered my own question, since it’s really easy to use every part of the pig so there’s nothing left. They’re like buffalo that way.
The pork thing is also a question for me, because years of experience have taught me that cats love ham. I can only guess that it’s a disease thing, since pigs carry way more disease than other food animals. That’s why you can’t get your pulled pork “a little pink” like you can with a burger.
(Not that pulled pork can be cooked to order, but you know what I mean.)
I think the first prostitution service was probably a solo endeavor called “Unga Bunga, You Have Meat?” Which isn’t that different than old-fashioned ideas about marriage, but there you go.