Suggested wine pairing: Night Train.

The ending to this one was a lot snappier before I learned that a club sandwich doesn’t necessarily include bacon. Apparently, the defining trait of a club is the whole double-decker thing. That’s obviously bullshit, though. Subs—which never have a third piece of bread—are routinely called clubs because they have bacon, and everybody knows it.

Tell your friends to read Mountain Time, the comic strip by the guy who’s angry at sandwiches.