Suggested wine pairing: Dove+Care Fortifying Shampoo and Conditioner.
I remember going to the hospital as a kid and seeing a “Human Resources” sign. I asked my mom if that was where they kept all the organs for transplants. She just laughed, so I’m still not sure if I should raid my office once my liver gets a case of the Old Yellers.
That little anecdote reminds me very much that
SHAMPOO WEEK
is still rolling along, as it will continue to do Friday.
Limbless shampoo bottles slamming doors shut isn’t anything really bizarre in my opinion; One field I work in I’ve seen thouzillonths of limbless computers performing hyper-elaborate juggle-balance-armwrestling hoedown showdown duels over who got the 10-d cubisticle with surround sound wall noise granola gamer girl nitro-blood consoleshoes.
Another field I work on I’ve seen mock, half-mock, full-mock and null-mock farm crusades over the nearest lemonade stand, last time I checked there were at least 610-098 jihadistical anime brainbomb legionnaires invading and pillaging countless lemonade stands for limenade in the past few seconds.
I’ll write a book about these events after I’m done with my book on the manliest animals of all time-spoiler alert-it’s a three-way tie between sharks, palm trees, squirrels, galaxies, and kites. Sphinxes, mantises and manowars WOULD be on that list, if it weren’t for the fact that manticores, katydids and leviathans stole their place by virtue of being 1000x manlier.
Also, the manticores, katydids and leviathans threw meteors at the faces of the sphinxes, mantises and manowars and then they exploded in the process. They are becoming manlier by the minute, so that they can rise up from the dead, as holy virtual gamer x-ray paladrilladins so they can reclaim their position as manly animals.
God bless them all, crazy nutjobs!!
Also on, the subject of -source departments, here’s how they work:
Human Sources: It’s Basically about Sex, Web Connections, Cybersex, Cyberhyperomniorgorthyclashtosexual rituals to some pagan deity in Purgatory’s left-of-southleft dominion.
Human Resources: Contrary to what most people think, it actually is about bodyparts and flesh! I should know because I work there, I’m a manager/engineer/janitor/CEO/otherguy.
For ACTUAL HR/help, just go to Human Helpsources.
Human Insources, Generally deals with compressing people down into atoms, or compressing JPEGs into ZPEGs.
Human Outsources: Turns everything into astral heaven balloon gods, except for JPEGs/ZPEGs
They become psilocyawronical hyperseraphic abdoministrato gods!
Human Multisources: Similar to Human Sources but WAAYYY more deviant-derangeddegenabauchodespotomrolorical-whatever.
Basicaly involves becoming a perfect uberomnicheessphearrowball through atomical klang-gangbang-a-ranging.
Human Upsources: Heaven themed smoothie barchains.
Human Downsources: Hell themed fitness country golf clubs.
Human Helpsource: As mentioned on the bit about human Resources, it’s actual help for anyone whomst needs it, in addition to being what most people overlook in favor of the bodyparts department.
In the event that yr liver chomps a nearby dustbunny of death, just take it up with either HD or HU, mainly because HR has, for the past 5 minutes alternated between being helpfully perfect, and being helpllessly abysmal. HR occasionally goes thru phases like these, whereas HD and HU do not.
Chances are, in the case of HD, they’ll give you a liver shayped icepack pacemaker as an alternative to a legit liver, and in the case of HU, they’ll just rewire your body in such a way that you won’t need another liver.
Sorry about this being so long though, just wanted to exposit some knowledge about this topic in case anyone needed anything.
Some part of my brain has thought of the different HRs before, I’m almost certain. But I definitely never put it together that all of them involve monsters.