Suggested wine pairing: oyster shooters.
UPDATE
Monday’s comic will be delayed slightly due to Super Metroid.
©2008-2024 Chris Combs Powered by WordPress with ComicPress
Suggested wine pairing: oyster shooters.
Monday’s comic will be delayed slightly due to Super Metroid.
©2008-2024 Chris Combs Powered by WordPress with ComicPress
animal manliness ratings. feel free to add your own or dispute mine. I may also do so.
sphinxes. S, for a million reasons.
one: they ask you a question you wouldn’t need the answer to if they didn’t ask it, then they tell you the answer, then they eat you.
two: they walk on all fours no matter the time of day; sleep deprivation is masculine.
barnacles, what you seem to think are oysters. you can see them all around him.
you can use them to traverse pits. A.
countries. contain more men than any other animal. A.
actual oysters. when something hurts them, they encase it in calcium carbonate and wait for someone else to remove it, which is what Bond should have done in Skyfall. B.
This comic got pondering over multiple questions, like: what’s manlier than an oyster or, what are the manliest of other life kingdoms as well as what are the manliest other types of things?
After a long and hard 10 minutes of pondering, I have concluded that the manliest plant is either Rafflesia or Pine trees, the manliest virus is either Megavirus, Marburgvirus or Ebolavirus, the manliest fungi is Athlete’s foot, the manliest protist is a tie between the Stentor and the Dinoflaggellate, the manliest archaean is Haloquadratum, and the manliest bacterium is Gonorrhea.
I was gong to speak about the womanliest lifeforms (ala. Venus flytraps, Palm trees, Bears, etc.) as well as other manly things, (Avsunviroids, Monster trucks, Positrons, Platelets and so on.) but I’ll save that for laterishhe.
The anliest manimal is obviously the man o’ war. It’s NAMED that. Second place goes to the mandrill, but due to its lack of a porcine corkscrew penis, it loses points.
Yeah that makes sense Cold, but I’d vouch that mantises could also be the manliest animals, because they also have MAN in their name, not to mention their awesome jawclaws used for making coleslaw grenades.
I’ve seen that both mantises and man o’ wars oft’ fight on equal playing fields in termetical terms of everything, but it depends on the field in questioning ala. An American football field is 50/50 either side could win/lose and/or it could end in a draw,
but an Armenian football field will almost always lead to mantises triumphing over the man o’ wars.
French football fields however, usually yields the opposite effect with man o’ wars defeating the mantises to reign supreme. This is because mantii are hot beasts attracted to hot places, like Armenia, and man o’ warriodes are cold monsters lusting after cold locations, like France. America is one of the few temperature-neutral countries inside the planet, thus, boiling icebeasts are on equal terms with frosty heatmonsters.
Also as of today I learned that the Gonorrheans have converted their taxonomy lineage to animism, therefore making them animals, and thus, the manliest animals of all time. Why? Because they are the ultimate STD, and they lift a lot.
Plus their bodies are made out of chakral muscle gammarays and when they walk, they cause manquakes on a random location in existence. There’s more but I don’t really feel like talking about it now.
I get what you’re both saying, but the biathlon is the manliest sport of them all: a simulation of persistence hunting. and you can only do a biathlon in a cold environment. the temperature alone would benefit the man-o-war, but the man-o-war has no power over a sphinx if that sphinx is wearing thick clothes, or a mandrill for that matter, so I think the biathlon is a close match.
and you’re both forgetting the all-important shampoo test. more than half of a sphinx can be shampooed, and almost no part of a mantis or man-o-war can. almost all of a mandrill can be shampooed, but a sphinx has more than four times the surface area of a mandrill, so they win different categories.
ratings:
mantis: B.
mandrill: middle S.
man-o-war: A.
sphinxes: high S
…
fourty-three: about half of riddles are dad-jokes where you don’t immediately say the punchline.
fourty-four: sphinxes are capable of swift aereal and aquatic motion, and just one of those already makes you a cool uncle.
er, sphinx singular. multiple sphinxes are not one animal.
…
fourty-six: many sphinxes have a damaged nose, do you know who also has a damaged nose? Tycho Brahe. do you know what Tycho Brahe died from? politeness. is not an animal that can pretend to be a man more manly than an animal that cannot?
If we’re talking manly animals, it’s gotta be the manatee. A man, a tee, a canal: lanacae et anama.
Normally I weigh in all nitty-gritty, but you guys have got this.
That said, I find the sphinx argument the most persuasive.
Expressway