Suggested wine pairing: Garnier Fructis Triple Nutrition

Welcome back to

SHAMPOO WEEK!

According to a site that or may not be completely inaccurate, the 14th century saw European women conditioning their hair with dead lizards boiled in olive oil.

That fits, because conditioner is like your one weird aunt who has a bunch of books on witchcraft and candles and sage and shit, and you’re like, “how can she even afford all this?” And eventually you just decide that the spells must be working.

Shampoo, though? Shampoo is that one uncle who always seemed to be helping someone reshingle their roof.