Happy birthday, Kristen! And happy anniversary to the Greeks: on this day, 2489 years ago, you defeated the Persian naval fleet in the Battle of Salamis. Too bad there’s no way the battle was as cool as it sounds. What I want to imagine as a bunch of sausages firing cannons and swinging around on ropes with swords a-flailing was doubtlessly just a bunch of dudes in boats ramming into each other. Either way, though, it was a total sausage fest.