Suggested wine pairing: Neutrogena Anti-Residue Clarifying Shampoo.
Geez, I just got back from a trip and found that it’s
SHAMPOO WEEK
for something like the fourteenth time.
14! That’s a stella octangula number, and if I knew what that meant, I’d probably be disappointed. Thankfully, I don’t, so I’m free to assume 14 describes how the Star Gods communicate across galaxies or whatever.
And if there’s one thing the Star Gods are talking about, it’s shampoo! Of all the goop I can find in my shower, shampoo is almost certainly the least repulsive.
What, you don’t have a goopy shower? Sorry, I didn’t realize the Prince of Liechtenstein read Mountain Time. You could at least throw a couple Swiss francs my way, buddy. I’m giving you three more comics this week, most likely on Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday.
The most magical 14 weeks of 14 years! 14 squared is too big a number for me to calculate, but I’m assuming it’s exactly equal to how many shampoo bottles I’ve gone through since the first Shampoo Week
They may not be aware of hentai, but the IDEA of hentai exists regardless of woodpeckers’ conceptions, as any student of Plato will attest.
And I just shampooed my hair today. Amazing that October would happen so fortuitously.
I’m not sure what’s weirder, reading this after I just had an issue with shoelaces that did not cooperate with all of the eyelets which I also couldn’t find because old mangled shoes that I keep around because we men just do that, or reading this after buying some more shampoo and spending more time than usual deciding on the purchase. It’s a shampoo week miracle!
Hey remember Hidden Treasures cereal? You could tell which flavor was inside by the seam on the pieces, so it wasn’t very hidden…
Gonna tattoo the word “vomit” on my forehead to fend off hungry woodpeckers. I’m sure this will not affect any other aspect of my life.
(Also 14 being a stella octangula number means you can arrange 14 balls into the shape of a stella octangula, which is two overlapping D4 shapes, in a nice way. I promise to find a more interesting property of the number 14 to offset your oncoming disappointment later.)
21: That’s a lot of shampoo! But I suppose a man of your key interest is likely to keep more hair around than me.
NAR: I’ll have to remember to google “platonic ideal of hentai” at work tomorrow.
Snek: You and me both, man.
Cold: It’s definitely the eyelets, man. I’ve published, like, 55 comics about shampoo and one about eyelets.
Never heard of Hidden Treasures, but it sounds like a fucking weird idea for a cereal.
Circle: Your choice to use d4s in your explanation makes me think you’ve hacked me and seen Tuesday’s episode.
Also, I can send you “vomit” in my font if you want. It’d be an honor to be part of a tasteful forehead tattoo.