Suggested wine pairing: wine is no longer adequate. 120-proof grain alcohol will sanitize your digestive system. Eat a grape with it to stay on theme as you try to remember what the outside world was like.
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you could actually play time as a game of chicken, with at least three participants, and you want to be second last. second last is first place, third last is second place. last is last place.
could be a game of trickery and endurance. have hundreds of people and like five percent get prizes. they can bring the stopwatches home, and there’s a webpage that broadcasts at all times how many stopwatches are still running.
would break immediately when someone agreed with their friend that the friend would press after them. or would it…?
I’m more interested in seeing how Beachball is played. It has uniform jerseys so that already ruins my best expectations.
Bern: That might be a brilliant idea. It needs to be tested. Someone needs to call up the Governing Committee of All Sports and get a grant for the development of time. (I might not know exactly how new sports are made.)
Cold: I’ve been making half-assed attempts to design beachball for years. Currently I think it’s basically just like soccer, BUT you can hit or hold the ball with your hands, BUT you cannot CARRY the ball.
I had an idea once where a section of the midfield would be a pool from sideline to sideline, but I could never figure out what the purpose of it would be (other than making beachball an “amphibious sport,” which is great marketing).
There are some circles where ostentatiously displaying a lack of sports knowledge is considered more prestigious than the converse. If I ever find myself in a situation like that, I’m definitely going to bring up that time when I found a webcomic with a recurring character who’s a professional beachball player, which I regularly read every week for seven years before being disabused of the notion that beachball is a real sport by a comment from the author.
I love that.
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