I know that sounds really anti-Bolivian, but keep in mind that I didn’t say it; the bird-riding dwarf said it.
See you tomorrow.
If I were videoing myself, the few seconds as I tried to work out what the things coming out of the earth were would’ve been priceless. Even the legs.
How do you be annoying at dying? This is coming from someone who doesn’t want to be babysat by a penguin. Seeing as Fenner did it, I too will add my own part…
In a new and entirely different world from earth, which its denizens named it dirt. This was mostly because of its composition of self aware marshmallow, and, wait for it, earth! Let us focus our unfocused lens on our metaphorical telescope, that which is only possessed by a reader in such a story as this, and look deeper into this new world. Let us keep on focusing, until we look on the bustling and sprawling city of spleens.
This realm of spleendom was vast, from the perspective of the genetically engineered spleens that lived and mysteriously reproduced in the wonderful, truly fantastic realm of the drop of rain that had, through a process of teenage warfare, dripped into a puddle, which had been hurriedly scooped into an emergency tank by the DFCOR, or department for conservation of rain, to protect such an endangered species.
Then suddenly a freaky hurricane scooped the water freakily in a freaky fashion, until the squid was swimming in a pile of mysterious spleens that no-one knew anything about (They were green). These beauteous spleens spontaneously combusted into ash, and these ashes summoned a mystic phoenix using their mystic rite of having sneakily been a phoenix the whole time, having been created when the world was made.
Such a hiffy phony Phoenix was the most squidalicious in existence, with a theme of squids constantly present throughout the realm of Dirt. The marshmallows all throughout the world were sentient and aware of their purpose in life, deciding to hide such a purpose from their enemies the inorganic non-sentient life forms, the cephalopods, who knew anyway, as the third harry potter book (Harry Potter and the prisoner of Afghanistan) was committing regicide.
The cephlapods were actually robots you see, but they were poorly constructed, with only 4 of them able to access the global free wifi. (And Big Bad Bruce too, but thats another story). But the sadness and inexplicable torture throughout the realm of Dirt, or at least to the various cyborg cephlapods, was mostly centered from their need for a purpose in life. As an astute reader would have noticed, they knew about the marshmallows purpose in life. But it didn’t end there.
For the squid knew EVERYONES purpose in life, and a few of those purposes them made them jealous. Thats because most of them were total bullshit, but occasionaly there were some worth fantasizing about having themselves. But suddenly, empathetic PLOTTWISTINESS!!!! For The Pineapple had been tired, and had combined the role of purpose, with the word porpoise!!! And there was retribution like never seen on the high seas.
The naturally aquatic tentaculous fiends loaded up their spanish galleons to begin a conquest of what could be more aptly called mud, as Dirt was, as it’s theme doesn’t suggest, 100% water. The ‘puddle’ in which the thriving Spleendom fell, was actually a global ocean. Then Big Bad Bruce, the most fiendishly multitooled and tentacled robot, put on a pirate hat over his single eye and shining, chrome plated head. He then lifted it off his head, cause it looked silly. To be continued, but probably not here.
I look forward to the epic conclusion to this first lengthy story arc.
Best. Comic. Ever. But let’s not forget what led us here today the fact that… danannananna dannanan ddaaaa. Lift up to the Helium mines in the Sun. Don’t look into that cursed mirror if you’re not prepared otherwise you’ll see freaking DEATH! BUt whatever you doooooo… DOn’t let Glen Runciter and Palmer Eldritch give you drugs. They make really bad trips. What if we were given drugs to see that our dictator was really an alien but they weren’t drugs and that was actually countering the drug we were given from when we were born…
TOO MANY ELIPSIS…
I wonder what God looks like when he’s dancing in front of Satan. PROBABLY LIKE ZEUS. Z is such a stupid letter. BUT ITS FIRST. just like no more capital letters forever. i just started watching twin peaks. I’m really enjoying it. NO MORE BEING REMINDED OF SMALL MEXICAN CHIAUAUSUUSUSUFDSF. you get the message. At least I hope you do. Meanwihle, the detective that Gandalf wrote about earliar still has his lips pried to that saxophone. I bought a wall hanger. it doessn’t let me- Oh my God I need to invent a device that let’s we hang walls off it and I can use it at my next convience. LET’S GO FOR A STORY ARC!!!
For some reason only clocks seemed to be scared of clocks and they did not have to provide any clocks anymore, and that is why researchers Hell is actually a metaphor for Heaven. Only if they could find a freaking unicorn hunter in the silver lined clouds. Susie Dumb complained her name was actually Susie Smart while trying to ‘get to know’ the protaganitit, (SHe was complaining of a by-gone era). while Ignatz Thugg was trying to have sex with a whole bunch of animals. I don’t even know why it’s called a Hipity Hoppity. IF that’s references to rabbits that’s disgusting. I’m not sure they pulled off that product placement. do you? I’ll write some more of this later. ISTO THIS IS IMPORTANT!! You should make a musical intro to Mountain Time with the help of some of your fans. That would be nice. MY WALL HANGER HAS A BASS.
“ITs not a donkey its a zebra God damnit!” said the Hard-boiled detective, Slamming down his fist onto the coffee table where the sun don’t shine. “WE NEED SOME MORE DONUTS!” His assistent, paid $40 an hour to be the best hysterical dame in the South Side of Detroit, screamed. “And that’s why we need more sunglasses to see what people really are. THEY LIVE! WE SLEEP!” The detective’s hysterical customer screamed. “Pardon?” the detective said. “I was just taking a nap.” The hysterical customer screamed and went off on search of either bubblegum or ass. Okay, if you haven’t seen that movie that would have sounded very strange. The detective took off one of his twenty five pairs of sunglasses, the largest pair have to be held up with their own self sustaining pair of rockets, and lifted up his recorder. “Diane, it is 8:58 pm and I am at The Great Southern Hotel, today I had to rescue a prostitute and calm down my assistent, who had the simple task of finding the word ‘Robert’ and couldn’t do it… A giant is approaching me now and seems to be a madman speaking of false owls but the main problem is I’ve run out of donuts. Lord save this town of ‘Pair of… Mountain tops.’ (that was in no way a reference) he said into his musical instrument. MY UNCLE’S HAIR TURNED WHITE! THE DRAMA! Ubik.
Unravel the very fabric of the space-time continuum”, huh? Is this the Mountain Time… ORIGIN STORY???
This has been driving me crazy for a long time: are those Lenny’s eyebrows or just more stripes?
Gandalf: I’m not sure how one manages to be annoying at dying, but every job involves at least some annoying people — even grim reaping.
Fenner: Sorry, I call bass.
Gandalf & Fenner: Shall I just create a new page somewhere for you two to spin your frenetic yarns?
GoSign: Nope. That was here: http://mountaincomics.com/2013/12/09/mountain-time-500/
Tens: Huh. Well, as of right now, those are officially stripes.
Thing is though you only burn up on reentry if you’re moving at orbital speeds. if you’re just floating stationary you can fall down safely no different from skydiving..
Still, I think “food safety regulations” is a pretty good guess for a penguin. Not a lot of physics classes in Antarctica.
I think frenetic is probably the most adroit term possible for whatever it that thing is when I write fiction without a set goal.
Ich kenne einige Leute, die aus Kanadakommen. Eines Tages werde ich auch dorthin reisen Lg Daniela
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