June 27th, 2011

Drugstore Cowgirl

Given the success of the Egyptian pyramids, it’s really strange that no one’s building any enormous, millenia-spanning monuments these days.

Oh, and thanks to Hello Happy Pirate for pointing out that the Mountain Time slogan has been (very poorly) ripped off by some jackass casino in Pennsylvania. What’s that, crappy casino marketing department? You’re punning on nuts? That’s pretty impressive.

UPDATE

Ok, so back in the old days, before mahogany desks posed a bigger challenge to my reading comprehension than Faulkner, I made comics with my friend Ryan, who recently agreed to make some comics to put up here at mountaincomics.com! They

^ 14 Comments...

  1. hello happy pirate

    But if they did build a pyramid, They’d have no dominion over that as well?
    Because It’s just a big group of inclined plains?

  2. ButterOnABaldMonkey

    AHA! But an INVERTED pyramid would be a declined plane, no?

  3. ZebulonAntilles

    Unless it is a wedge, one of the other simple machines. I was always hazy on the difference.

    I find it intriguing that the submarine king on his throne looks as much like a muffin as he does. A birthday muffin, with a candle.

  4. ItEndsWithTens

    I just saw this on CNN.com the other day: http://news.blogs.cnn.com/2011/06/24/amazon-ceo-looks-to-tell-10000-years-of-time/

    I’m not clear on what it’ll look like, or how it’ll work, but it fits your criteria. I can’t really think of anything funny to say here. “It’s about time”, maybe? I don’t know.

  5. ColdFusion

    Exactly! What’s with the lack of monuments? I guess nobody really has enough land anymore that belongs just to them… plus we sort of stopped building long, wide things and started building TALL things instead.
    now.. inclined plains.. that made me chuckle.. but surely they’re the sloped area at the base of a mountain, which is called a pediment.. and of course there’s.. a joke to make there.. impediment.. i just.. can’t think of it.

  6. isto

    HHP & Butter: I’m tempted to nitpick about the difference between planes and plains, but your banter is much more interesting.

    Zebulon: Yeah, calling the wedge a distinct simple machine is definitely cheating.

    Due to the nature of submarine anatomy, submarine thrones are some of the simplest thrones around. This results in submarine royalty looking somewhat silly, but then again, what royalty doesn’t look silly?

    Tens at the End: Um… after looking at the comments on that page, I’d say people are getting pretty wound up about that clock. It’s really grinding their gears. They’re getting ticked at all the clock talk. (“Talk” being homophonous with “tock,” which is objectively hilarious.)

    The funniest thing to say about it was already said: “I wonder how much he plans on charging people to see the time? What about earth quakes… tornatoes… forrest fires… security… ect.. If it were to get bomed… how many would die? How many dead children”

    Cold: Tall things just aren’t going to last as long, you know?
    I like to think of the Inclined Plains as just a series of plains that slope upward indefinitely. It leaves a lot of questions unanswered, but it’s not like any other questions about Mountain Time geography get answered, so that’s fine.

    HOW MANY DEAD CHILDREN

  7. ItEndsWithTens

    Well now you’re just being silly; “talk” swapped for “tock” may be objectively hilarious if you’ve got one of THOSE accents from out west. I suppose your dog is also sitting on a log, watching your friend Mary leaving on the ferry.

    The only reason I didn’t catch that potential joke is that we’re more sensible here in the northeast. Now, ain’t none a yous want to get some cawfee?

  8. ButterOnABaldMonkey

    tens: Why in Heavens (the intersecting point of all inclined plains) name would I want “cawfee” when I have the worlds best coffee right here in the NW?

    Declined Plane is having a tough time getting a job, and is still bitter about never having a date to the prom. Who thought majoring in orography could be such an impediment to an (almost) stand up guy like him?

    I think he’s got a slanted view of things though.

    As for the clock, SOMEBODY has to be sacrificed to the monument, else it isn’t a fitting site for pagan ritualism! I vote children over virgins any Tuesday of the week!

  9. Booster Seat

    @ItEndsWithTens Are you implying that dog and log are not homophones? I can get behind you with Mary and ferry and talk and tock, but dog and log are definitely homophonous.

  10. isto

    Tens: I think you’re thinking of a different accent; in mine, “dog” rhymes almost perfectly with “grandmother.”

    Butter: I’m impressed Declined Plane even got into college at all. I figured his application would’ve been, well…

  11. ItEndsWithTens

    Butter: I only drink finely aged Mountain Dew.

    Booster: Yes, I am. “Dawg”, as most frequently heard in stereotypical Brooklyn, New Jersey, or Long Island accents, is certainly incorrect, but “dahg” is just as wrong. The o should rhyme with the au in the name Paul. You’ve got to lean into it just a smidge; not too far, but not straight up and down. The former sounds too careless and sloppy, where the latter sounds too dry, flavorless, and straight-laced. Like oatmeal, white bread, or John Tesh.

    I’m afraid this is non-negotiable. The Committee of Little People Who Live in My Head cannot accept your claim any more than they can accept the idea that Dr. Pepper or Kashi breakfast cereal are tasty, or that Mountain Time is not the best webcomic ever made (see what I did there?).

  12. hello happy pirate

    I refuse to dance to isto’s marionette strings.

  13. isto

    Tens: Aw, shucks.

    HHP: Gotta say, being a marionette is preferable to being a hand puppet. Anatomically, you know.

    Butter: I didn’t notice before, but congratulations! You win the Screw Britain award for posting the 1776th comment. Alternatively, you win the Oh Bum, the Colonies Are Cranky award.

  14. ButterOnABaldMonkey

    Thank you, thank you! I couldn’t have done this by myself. I, I promised I wasn’t going to cry… I’d like to thank Tens for giving me the inspiration I needed to insult all inferior hot caffinated beverages and take home this prestigious award. And just in time for Independence day! Fitting that we celebrate the birth of our nation by getting drunk and blowing shit up.

    America – Fuck Yeah!

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